THE PIVOT QUESTIONNAIRE

 
 
 
The Pivot Questionnaire
THE PIVOT QUESTIONNAIRE

Lilou & John answer “The Pivot Questionnaire” | Lilou reveals her favorite swear word | John reveals his ambition to be a new Tancred of Antioch

John: Ok sugar mama, today you suggested that we should answer “The Pivot Questionnaire”. Could you start by explaining what that is?

Lilou: I saw it on Inside Actor’s Studio a couple of years ago and thought it might be fun.

John: Ok. It is a series of 10 questions and we both answer the same question. Are you ready?

Lilou: I am ready.

John: Question number one: what is your favorite word? I think mine is “invincible”.

Lilou: Ah, that’s a good one. I’m gonna go with “lush”.

John: Sounds luscious.

Lilou: Love “luscious” as well.

John: Sorry love, you only had one. Ok, ready for number two?

Lilou: Yes dear.

John: What is your least favorite word? I think “dignity” or some such shitword.

Lilou: You’re so cute.

John: You too, baby. A word, please.

Lilou: This is so hard!

John: You can do it.

Lilou: This is gonna take forever.

John: Take your time.

Lilou: The only word I can come to think of is “ass crack” and I’m not even sure I dislike it.

John: Fair enough. We go for “ass crack”.

Lilou: The “Ass Kraken” ha ha.

John: If the old Swedish sailors knew that you made fun of their ocean monster, they would ban you from the viking bloodline, you know.

Lilou: Or flaunt me their ass cracks.

John: Ok, on to the third question: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? I say sex. When I have gone over you a few times in hardcore mode I feel really fit for creating great music and stuff. What do you think?

Lilou: Perfection. In all its shapes.

John: Good to hear I turn you on. Fourth question, love, What turns you off?

Lilou: You ARE perfection, dear.

John: And you’re a cutie.

Lilou: Idiots. Definitely idiots. And loud noise.

John: Yeah, idiots, morons and mindless suckers of all kinds. You’re gonna love question number five by the way.

Lilou: Uh oh, what is it?

John: “What is your favorite curse word”?

Lilou: “Shit burger”.

John: That is a good one. I remember my grandpa once said “blood of devils, mourning of widows and the cries of orphans in the desert”. I think that sounds pretty “cursy”, don’t you.

Lilou: I think that sounds beautiful. We could use that.

John: We could.

Lilou: We should.

John: My everyday curse words are too politically incorrect even for this blog I think.

Lilou: Yeah, mine as well.

John: Ok, question six: What sound or noise do you love? I love the sound of my own orgasms and the sound when I load the shotgun in Bioshock. You?

Lilou: I love the sound of you playing the bass guitar. It is very sexy.

John: You are very sexy. Happy my bass guitar can be of any use. Question number seven: What sound or noise do you hate?

Lilou: The clinking sound of a spoon against a coffee cup.

John: I hate the sound of stupid people talking. That annoys me like nothing else in the world. I too used to hate those spoons but they are nothing compared to their gibberish.

Lilou: I just block these morons out and think of something else. But that clinking sound makes me want to kill the person holding the spoon.

John: There is nothing stopping you, I guess those people are idiots so I wouldn’t mind them leaving for a better afterlife either. Ok, question number eight: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Anything you would like to do except singing and taking great photos?

Lilou: Design things. Like a jewelry collection.

John: That would be great. I could use your rings.

Lilou: One day, dear. One day.

John: I could do like Hernan Cortez or Tancred of Antioch, take you and the kids across the sea and conquer some shithole country somewhere and become, like, god emperor and you could be a sun goddess worshipped by the savages.

Lilou: Sounds marvelous, dear.

John: Doesn’t it? You could have a jewelry studio on top of a Ziggurat or something.

Lilou: Sign me up.

John: Great. Ready for question nine?

Lilou: Yes.

John: What profession would you not like to do?

Lilou: I worked night shift at a factory. I quit after that night. That was not for me.

John: I understand that. You need eight hours sleep, you know.

Lilou: Yeah, I get grumpy as hell if I don’t. Even grumpier than usual.

John: For those of our readers that don’t know how grumpy you can be: I have had a blood clot in my lungs and almost died. Yet it was nothing compared to you grumpy.

Lilou: Wasn’t that two blood clots. And yeah I can be a total bitch.

John: Thank you for reminding me… love.

Lilou: You’re welcome… dear.

John: I hate work that produce nothing, like “gender studies”, brrrrr. Question ten, finally.

Lilou: Finally, this took forever.

John: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Lilou: Even if it did exist, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t fit in there. I never fit in.

John: You’re right, you are one of a kind.

Lilou: Nah, I’m just too frank and personal.

John: That is what I meant. You would hate Heaven if it is anything like they say. But it all depends on who God is and who he lets in there. I mean if he is anything like Robert Guiscard or any other old medieval knight and Heaven is full of the Norman war machine, I could have a nice chat with him. But if he is one of those boring people who talk about their socks or “values” or crap I don’t wanna hear him say anything ever. So I guess you and I are pretty similar. We take the elevator down, don’t we?

Lilou: Nah, I’d like a people free zone, please. Just you and me.

John: Even better. I didn’t know they had a third place.

Lilou: I just made it. You and me, butt naked on a white beach with a veggie buffet in the background.

John: Mmmm, sounds awesome. I just need some action, and I think you need that too.

Lilou: I said butt naked, dear.

John: You mean we fuck our way through eternity. A good idea.

Lilou: Plenty more where that came from.

 

Lilou & John answer “The Pivot Questionnaire” | Lilou reveals her favorite swear word | John reveals his ambition to be a new Tancred of Antioch

John: Ok sugar mama, today you suggested that we should answer “The Pivot Questionnaire”. Could you start by explaining what that is?

Lilou: I saw it on Inside Actor’s Studio a couple of years ago and thought it might be fun.

John: Ok. It is a series of 10 questions and we both answer the same question. Are you ready?

Lilou: I am ready.

John: Question number one: what is your favorite word? I think mine is “invincible”.

Lilou: Ah, that’s a good one. I’m gonna go with “lush”.

John: Sounds luscious.

Lilou: Love “luscious” as well.

John: Sorry love, you only had one. Ok, ready for number two?

Lilou: Yes dear.

John: What is your least favorite word? I think “dignity” or some such shitword.

Lilou: You’re so cute.

John: You too, baby. A word, please.

Lilou: This is so hard!

John: You can do it.

Lilou: This is gonna take forever.

John: Take your time.

Lilou: The only word I can come to think of is “ass crack” and I’m not even sure I dislike it.

John: Fair enough. We go for “ass crack”.

Lilou: The “Ass Kraken” ha ha.

John: If the old Swedish sailors knew that you made fun of their ocean monster, they would ban you from the viking bloodline, you know.

Lilou: Or flaunt me their ass cracks.

John: Ok, on to the third question: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? I say sex. When I have gone over you a few times in hardcore mode I feel really fit for creating great music and stuff. What do you think?

Lilou: Perfection. In all its shapes.

John: Good to hear I turn you on. Fourth question, love, What turns you off?

Lilou: You ARE perfection, dear.

John: And you’re a cutie.

Lilou: Idiots. Definitely idiots. And loud noise.

John: Yeah, idiots, morons and mindless suckers of all kinds. You’re gonna love question number five by the way.

Lilou: Uh oh, what is it?

John: “What is your favorite curse word”?

Lilou: “Shit burger”.

John: That is a good one. I remember my grandpa once said “blood of devils, mourning of widows and the cries of orphans in the desert”. I think that sounds pretty “cursy”, don’t you.

Lilou: I think that sounds beautiful. We could use that.

John: We could.

Lilou: We should.

John: My everyday curse words are too politically incorrect even for this blog I think.

Lilou: Yeah, mine as well.

John: Ok, question six: What sound or noise do you love? I love the sound of my own orgasms and the sound when I load the shotgun in Bioshock. You?

Lilou: I love the sound of you playing the bass guitar. It is very sexy.

John: You are very sexy. Happy my bass guitar can be of any use. Question number seven: What sound or noise do you hate?

Lilou: The clinking sound of a spoon against a coffee cup.

John: I hate the sound of stupid people talking. That annoys me like nothing else in the world. I too used to hate those spoons but they are nothing compared to their gibberish.

Lilou: I just block these morons out and think of something else. But that clinking sound makes me want to kill the person holding the spoon.

John: There is nothing stopping you, I guess those people are idiots so I wouldn’t mind them leaving for a better afterlife either. Ok, question number eight: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Anything you would like to do except singing and taking great photos?

Lilou: Design things. Like a jewelry collection.

John: That would be great. I could use your rings.

Lilou: One day, dear. One day.

John: I could do like Hernan Cortez or Tancred of Antioch, take you and the kids across the sea and conquer some shithole country somewhere and become, like, god emperor and you could be a sun goddess worshipped by the savages.

Lilou: Sounds marvelous, dear.

John: Doesn’t it? You could have a jewelry studio on top of a Ziggurat or something.

Lilou: Sign me up.

John: Great. Ready for question nine?

Lilou: Yes.

John: What profession would you not like to do?

Lilou: I worked night shift at a factory. I quit after that night. That was not for me.

John: I understand that. You need eight hours sleep, you know.

Lilou: Yeah, I get grumpy as hell if I don’t. Even grumpier than usual.

John: For those of our readers that don’t know how grumpy you can be: I have had a blood clot in my lungs and almost died. Yet it was nothing compared to you grumpy.

Lilou: Wasn’t that two blood clots. And yeah I can be a total bitch.

John: Thank you for reminding me… love.

Lilou: You’re welcome… dear.

John: I hate work that produce nothing, like “gender studies”, brrrrr. Question ten, finally.

Lilou: Finally, this took forever.

John: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Lilou: Even if it did exist, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t fit in there. I never fit in.

John: You’re right, you are one of a kind.

Lilou: Nah, I’m just too frank and personal.

John: That is what I meant. You would hate Heaven if it is anything like they say. But it all depends on who God is and who he lets in there. I mean if he is anything like Robert Guiscard or any other old medieval knight and Heaven is full of the Norman war machine, I could have a nice chat with him. But if he is one of those boring people who talk about their socks or “values” or crap I don’t wanna hear him say anything ever. So I guess you and I are pretty similar. We take the elevator down, don’t we?

Lilou: Nah, I’d like a people free zone, please. Just you and me.

John: Even better. I didn’t know they had a third place.

Lilou: I just made it. You and me, butt naked on a white beach with a veggie buffet in the background.

John: Mmmm, sounds awesome. I just need some action, and I think you need that too.

Lilou: I said butt naked, dear.

John: You mean we fuck our way through eternity. A good idea.

Lilou: Plenty more where that came from.