ARE WE JEWISH?

 
 
 
Are We Jewish?
ARE WE JEWISH?

Are Lilou & John Jewish? | Well, are they? | Lilou comes up with a plan

John: There seem to be quite a controversy lately regarding our possible Jewishness. Are we Jewish? Really? Or not? Who knows and who cares? What do you say?

Lilou: I have absolutely no idea and I don’t give a flying fuck about it either. I’ve had people commenting my Aryan nose on several social media forums and I find it ridiculous.

John: I have Roman legs, you know?

Lilou: I love your legs. Very sexy. And your feet, gaaaa. What do Jewish legs look like? Not Roman I bet.

John: I haven’t got a clue but I strongly suspect that Jewish legs have no foreskin.

Lilou: Poor sods. Cold in the winter.

John: Anyway, I thought we should give our readers a fair chance to find out about our possible Jewishness. Let us start with your mother. She was basically a… rabbit?

Lilou: Yes, one piece rabbit, one piece beaver, and her nose looks like a potato so it’s not the traditional Jewish nose.

John: But she had sex with literally everyone who had a dick.

Lilou: Yep. Not even my father is sure he’s my father. Still he was the one who “took care” of me.

John: So that makes you a possible 50% Jew?

Lilou: Betcha.

John: Did they have condoms in 1978?

Lilou: Mum sure as hell didn’t use them.

John: True. My mother had brown hair.

Lilou: What does that has to do with Jewishness?.

John: I thought we were going the full monty here?

Lilou: You mean exposing our parents?

John: Not necessarily, unless they actually were Jews.

Lilou: I’ve heard rumors about having Finnish relatives. Are there any Jewish Finns?

John: Jewish Finns? Or Finnish Jews? I seriously don’t know if there are Jews in Finland. But you rarely get drunk so you cant be that Finnish. And I’ve never seen you use a knife in a brawl. And you don’t like the letter Ä.

Lilou: True.

John: But my grandfather on my father’s side, was a foster care child so there’s 25% possible Jewishness for me. He COULD have been Jewish. Or Lakota Indian. Or Eskimo.

Lilou: My mum liked jackets with fringes. Perhaps she’s a Cowboy.

John: Cow-girl, love.

Lilou: Cow-bunny… Does anyone read this blog by the way?

John: I hope the title of this post can lure in a few at least.

Lilou: Hi mum!

John: Well, to wrap it all up, you are 50% possible Jew and I am 25% possible Jew. Does that make Lilou & John a…

Lilou: …Jewish indie duo?

John: Yeah, I have an idea. Let us call ourselves The Indie Jewo!

Lilou: Call Rothschild. He might sponsor us now!

John: Very funny and racist, sweetie!

Are Lilou & John Jewish? | Well, are they? | Lilou comes up with a plan

John: There seem to be quite a controversy lately regarding our possible Jewishness. Are we Jewish? Really? Or not? Who knows and who cares? What do you say?

Lilou: I have absolutely no idea and I don’t give a flying fuck about it either. I’ve had people commenting my Aryan nose on several social media forums and I find it ridiculous.

John: I have Roman legs, you know?

Lilou: I love your legs. Very sexy. And your feet, gaaaa. What do Jewish legs look like? Not Roman I bet.

John: I haven’t got a clue but I strongly suspect that Jewish legs have no foreskin.

Lilou: Poor sods. Cold in the winter.

John: Anyway, I thought we should give our readers a fair chance to find out about our possible Jewishness. Let us start with your mother. She was basically a… rabbit?

Lilou: Yes, one piece rabbit, one piece beaver, and her nose looks like a potato so it’s not the traditional Jewish nose.

John: But she had sex with literally everyone who had a dick.

Lilou: Yep. Not even my father is sure he’s my father. Still he was the one who “took care” of me.

John: So that makes you a possible 50% Jew?

Lilou: Betcha.

John: Did they have condoms in 1978?

Lilou: Mum sure as hell didn’t use them.

John: True. My mother had brown hair.

Lilou: What does that has to do with Jewishness?.

John: I thought we were going the full monty here?

Lilou: You mean exposing our parents?

John: Not necessarily, unless they actually were Jews.

Lilou: I’ve heard rumors about having Finnish relatives. Are there any Jewish Finns?

John: Jewish Finns? Or Finnish Jews? I seriously don’t know if there are Jews in Finland. But you rarely get drunk so you cant be that Finnish. And I’ve never seen you use a knife in a brawl. And you don’t like the letter Ä.

Lilou: True.

John: But my grandfather on my father’s side, was a foster care child so there’s 25% possible Jewishness for me. He COULD have been Jewish. Or Lakota Indian. Or Eskimo.

Lilou: My mum liked jackets with fringes. Perhaps she’s a Cowboy.

John: Cow-girl, love.

Lilou: Cow-bunny… Does anyone read this blog by the way?

John: I hope the title of this post can lure in a few at least.

Lilou: Hi mum!

John: Well, to wrap it all up, you are 50% possible Jew and I am 25% possible Jew. Does that make Lilou & John a…

Lilou: …Jewish indie duo?

John: Yeah, I have an idea. Let us call ourselves The Indie Jewo!

Lilou: Call Rothschild. He might sponsor us now!

John: Very funny and racist, sweetie!